Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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