i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
