i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
