that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
