If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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