I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
