The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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