My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
