Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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