Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
