genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
