I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
