I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
