apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
