We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am available for nakedness
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
