How's work?
Spinning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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