i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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