so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
