Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
