So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
