It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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