Just cropdusted the office
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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