I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I need to calm my uterus...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
