i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
