you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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