Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
