and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
