a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
