Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize