Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
