I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My cat gives me a boner
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
