I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
