is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
