You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
