theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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