The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
bring money and cleavage
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
