I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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