im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
