Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
