Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
