Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
