i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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