im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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