East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
