You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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