4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
