It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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