i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
