I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
