Little spoons don't ask big questions
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize