God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
