Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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