If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
love makes seman taste better
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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