Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
