I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its not stalking. its research.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
