I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
