remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
