Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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